They had taken a taxi to the North Side of the city and were now sitting in Boston's newest but not necessarily most stylish restaurant. Bad Taste had been the creation of a Boston-Irishman of unusual sexuality and parentage, who liked to think that food and drink had become too serious.

'You always bring the worst out in us, Lucinda!' George was picking the menu from the floor, where the appalling waitress had dropped it. 'They're mostly out of work actresses!'

'Well if their acting is as bad, you can see why they are unemployed.' Lucinda laughed and gradually took in the unrestrained awfulness of the decor and the staff of the thriving restaurant. Their waitress had worn the classic black uniform with a lace cap and apron, which in itself would not have been out of place in many a Joe Lyons cafe in the forties. But it was the way, that her stockings had not just ladders, but holes, the lace was artistically stained and how she was rude and dismissive all the time, that created a real waitress from the far side. Others had modelled themselves on various stereotypes from the sort of fifties and sixties films which had starred James Dean and Marlon Brando. 'I don't think this would go down too well in Vegas! They just wouldn't see the joke!'

***

'Do you know, I haven't seen this wine since it was all the rage in trendy wine-bars in the early seventies.' George was pouring from a bottle of white Vin Rude. 'For a joke, it's alright. But at my age, you need something a little better for the palate.' He showed the label, which featured an exquisite quadruple of female buttocks.

'You know, Lucinda!' It was Chris who spoke. 'This place could do you a wonderful celebration party, for after you have signed everything.'

'You could perform too!' George laughed knowing that if she gave a performance, it would be of rather a different type.

'I've been thinking about the party, too! I think it's the one chance I have to get all of my ambitions, hopes and dreams fulfilled.' She smiled and thought for a moment. 'Well, not really. But I do like to be theatrical and dramatic. And as you know, I always have and always will get my way!'

***

Their starters had arrived and the Vin Rude had been swapped for a much better Californian Chardonnay, with a label from the over-the-top school of pretentiousness. The trouble was it was absolutely genuine and a very good wine.

'That's sick!' Lucinda was looking and laughing at her terrine du lapin. Not content to serve it in the normal way, as perhaps a slice or a roulade surrounded by a little salad, it had been moulded into a tiny rabbit, as one might a child's jelly. The sculpture was even nibbling a tiny carrot. 'Cassie certainly wouldn't eat that!' She meticulously cut and tasted a slice. 'It's gorgeous though. Obviously, they were very happy bunnies!'

'These are good too!' George was tucking into a second childhood of a painted boiled egg and brown bread soldiers. 'This is real Marmite on here! It must be years since I've tasted it on this side of the Atlantic. It would have been a treat at Sunday tea, with all the family around.' He looked at the rather odd-looking battered shapes in Chris' pot. 'They look disgusting, Chris?'

'You're right. They are absolutely disgusting. And delicious! They called it deep fried cosmic surprise and it certainly is! Taste this!' She passed her fork to Lucinda. 'What do you reckon?'

'Mars bar!'

***

'Lucinda. Let's return to the planning of yours and my god-daughter's future. Like you, I think that the signing and the following party could be the key to it all! Have you thought out your objectives?'

'Yes!' She took a long sip of wine before continuing. 'I must have security for Cassie, the new baby and myself. At present I own one half of one percent of Zyzzx, which given the current state of the market must be worth several million dollars. I earn a good salary, but frankly I am a mother and I sometimes I think I would like to spend more time with Cassie. There is only one problem, Russ!'

Chris nodded in agreement. 'Are there any replacements in the company?'

'Three or four at least.' She thought for a minute. 'There's David Jovanowitz, Greg Franklin and Sue Jackson, to name but three. I know there's more! All could do Russ' job with ease. And then there's me!'

'Would you want it? And could you do it?'

'I'd get power to go with the security. And of course I could do it!'

'So we've now got three objectives.' George was summing up. 'Success and growth for Zyzzx, the boot for Russ and you get his job.' Lucinda didn't comment. 'Now what do you want to do about the father and his lady love?'

'I'd like to test the pair of them. Put them together for a few days, so that they decide, if they want to share their lives. After all, I feel slightly sorry for them, as they've never really ever spent more than the odd night in the same bed.'

'How would you do that?' George was puzzled and intrigued.

***

They were interrupted by the rude waitress, who slammed their main courses in front of them.

Perhaps, the lamb with blackcurrant sauce chosen by the two women, was not that unconventional, but the treatment of the vegetables was far from the normal standards of the best restaurant.. 'It must take them hours to do that!' Lucinda observed as she cut open one of the potato sheep on her plate, to reveal a torrent of small sprouts, courgettes and carrots.

George's Scotch steak with kilt and sporran, said it all as far as the cooking was concerned, but he was totally unprepared for the pneumatic piper in a short kilt, who gave the meal a sort of reverence as it was piped to the table, whilst she murdered a tune on the bagpipes. 'I think it takes a certain talent, to play anything that badly!'

***

'You asked, how I would obtain my objectives.' Lucinda had returned to the plan. 'Remember, when we bought Arazi Entertainment Systems last year, we used a group of girls from Vegas to organise a really super party. These girls were wild, beautiful and totally outrageous, being prepared to do anything. Even something like give Russ his dues. On video perhaps!'

'Lucinda, be careful!' Chris knew exactly what Lucinda had in mind. 'To be frank, weren't they just expensive hookers? You have to watch you don't fall foul of the law!'

'No, they're not at all. They describe themselves as top-class erotic, sexual and performance artistes. I suspect, they can devise a range of delightful and exquisite, pleasures and punishments for Russ.' She rung her hands in a rather rude gesture. 'Anyway two of them went to a better and much more expensive English Public School than I did!'

'That makes no difference. One of my college friends is doing ten years for embezzlement.' Chris was shaking her head. 'Just be careful!'

'I know that I can rent an ideal house in East Anglia to the north east of London for a month, through a school friend. We do the final integration there and the girls would be used to ease difficulties, smooth furroughed brows, do the waiting at table, keep the place clean...'

'I get it now!' George interrupted. 'You would need a housekeeper to sort out the girls and keep everything under control...'

Lucinda took the sentence back. 'And perhaps do the home-video for Russ' loving father. To complete the package, we give her the complete works and a full make-over, so that she arrives sexy, fit, desirable and totally gift-wrapped.'

Copyright 1999 by Ewart Higgins